Top Ten Most Annoying Drivers

Each time we slip behind the wheel we take our lives into our own hands. No matter how stellar our driving skills might be there will always be dimwitted idiots out there to disturb our travel and make the roads dangerous. Here is my list of the ten worst such drivers:

10. The Median-Traveler
Some have dubbed the middle strip the “suicide lane,” and for good reason. Rather than wait an extra second or two to turn or merge, this driver will travel at full speed in the median for hundreds of yards before actually getting in a lane. Sure, this makes it dangerous for you to ever use the median, but for them it’s their own private VIP lane.
9. The Non-Signaler
Assuming you were born with the gift of mind reading he changes lanes, makes quick turns and lines up in the wrong place at stop lights because, after all, you already know he’s going to do these things. It’s uncertain of whether or not his car came equipped with the apparently-optional “signal” feature but regardless he’s going to spare the blinker at all costs.
8. The Makeup-Artist
Her car swerves about the road as if piloted by the town drunk. It’s bad enough that she’s trying steer while eating a muffin, putting on pantyhose and balancing her checkbook. But what truly makes her a hazard is her accomplishing these tasks with her eyes fixated on the rear view mirror whilst applying three coats of mascara.
7. The Slow-Turner
It’s a simple right-hand turn. What is the need to begin braking and signaling 30-seconds in advance?
6. The Break-Checker
No one is in front him, no red lights or stops signs in sight, yet every ten seconds those brake lights come on. After all, you never know when your brakes might suddenly give out, so it’s best to check them at every random opportunity.
5. The Rubber-Necker
“Gee, I wonder why he was pulled over,” or “Look, she has a flat tire.” That’s all it takes to slow freeway traffic for miles. The sad part about this condition is the fact those who suffer from this infirmity don’t realize they have a muscle that connects their right foot to their neck. When the neck is fully manipulated to the left or the right, the foot muscle has no other possible reaction but to move left and press down.
4. The Old-Timer
Can’t merge to save their lives, they live life at 20-mph in the fast lane with the left blinker clicking for miles. They’re not sure what they’re doing, many times they’re not sure they’re in a moving vehicle. It’s the infamous gray-hairs and their everyday rationale of “Who needs a bus when I can still drive myself to the store.”
3. The No-Looker
They’re creeping out into the intersection, but haven’t bothered to glance in your direction once. They make that blind turn assuming you won’t be there. This everyday road-hazard lives (and dies) on the assumption that since you see them, they don’t need to see you.
2. The Crowder
Nothing is more conducive to spewing words beginning in jack– or ending in –hole than the infamous Crowder. There are signs indicating the left lane is ending for miles. But being more important than everyone else trying to reach their destination, he waits for the last second to crowd in or simply drives the shoulder until some weak-minded do-gooder will allow him to jump ahead in line.
1. The Tailgater
We all hate this type: you look in your rear-view mirror to find they’re comfortably traveling a mere three inches from your bumper. You tap your breaks and they only get closer. Congratulations, nothing induces anger and white knuckle stress quicker than your antics, Mr. Tailgater.

Other drivers justifying their own euthanasia: The Frequent-Honker, The Road-Rager, The Cell-Phoner, The Road-Block-Talker, The Slow-Merger.