Top Ten Rock Albums of the 90's

10. Dookie – Green Day
Though Dookie would later be surpassed in achievement by their landmark American Idiot album, Green Day’s quasi-punk/quasi-pop/quasi-alternative release marked the changing of the music guard and drove the final nail into the hair metal coffin. With infectious, sophomoric tracks consisting of no more than three cords and barely three minutes of runtime this little-record-that-could would go on to become a quintessential part of 90’s rock history. Notable Songs: Longview, Welcome To Paradise, Basket Case, When I Come Around, She.
9. Ænima – Tool
Emerging in the mid-90’s as the leaders of the post-Gruge, Nu-Metal revolution, Tool pounds through nearly eighty masterful minutes of rage, sarcasm, psychedelics and ambient sound. Ænima (pronounced on-nim-ah) showcases the amazing voice of Maynard James Keenan while inventing truly mood-driven rhythms and intricate song structures. Notable Songs: Stinkfist, Forty-Six & 2, Aenema, Eulogy, H., Third Eye.
8. Dirt – Alice In Chains
In great contrast with the band’s other entry in this list, Dirt is mostly devoid of any melodic or acoustic pretense. Gritty both musically and vocally, Alice in Chains’ second full-length album bemoans the topics death and guilt as the tracks gradually evolve into a sobering, yet fascinating journey through the drug-addict’s psyche. It’s as honest, rugged and poignant as rock music gets. Notable Songs: Rooster, Would?, Them Bones, Angry Chair, Down In A Hole, Dirt.
7. Siamese Dream – Smashing Pumpkins
Though some would argue that the Pumpkin’s Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness was their true high-point, Siamese Dream is every bit as musically accomplished without becoming bogged down in weighty overproduction. Simple, catchy and memorable songs make Siamese Dream a triumph of the 90’s rock era. Notable Songs: Today, Disarm, Cherub Rock, Silverf**k, Luna.
6. Jar Of Flies – Alice In Chains
Completely written and recorded in a mind-boggling seven days, Alice In Chain’s fourth album became the only EP to ever reach the top spot on Billboard’s album chart. Beautifully crafted melodies accentuating the late Lane Staley’s unique voice and Jerry Cantrell’s talking guitar, Jar Of Flies was the complete antithesis of what was expected from the usually narcotic-fueled “Chains.” Notable Songs: No Excuses, I Stay Away, Nutshell, Rotten Apple, Don’t Follow.
5. Use Your Illusion I & II – Guns N’ Roses
Though it was the original band’s lash hurrah, Guns N’ Roses made its compelling final stand with a double release that was essentially two albums but one project. Changing directions from their monumental Appetite For Destruction, the “Illusions” mix balladry beauty with unencumbered rock in its purest form. GNR, much like a brilliant flame, burned bright and fast. Fortunately this collection exists to remind of the world of their short-lived genius. Notable songs: November Rain, Don’t Cry, You Could Be Mine, Civil War, Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door, Yesterdays, Live And Let Die.
4. Superunknown – Soundgarden
Nirvana had the best known Grunge album, Pearl Jam has the best-selling and Soundgarden simply had the best. A collection of fifteen impeccable songs, filled with ponderous lyrics and Chris Cornell’s banshee-like vocals, Superunknown may well have been the best offering of any genre during that ten-year span. Notable songs: Black Hole Sun, Spoonman, The Day I Tried To Live, Fell On Black Days, My Wave.
3. Metallica (the Black Album) – Metallica
After a decade of critical praise for their re-writing of the Metal genre in the 80’s (promoted by little-to-no airplay), Metallica released a more concisely written, thicker sounding album which was embraced by the mainstream on a grandiose scale. Straying somewhat from their complex and aggressive Master Of Puppets roots, the "Black Album" proved to be the metal masterpiece best equipped to withstand the bombardment of a burgeoning Grunge movement that would soon follow. Notable songs: Enter Sandman, Nothing Else Matters, The Unforgiven, Wherever I May Roam, Sad But True, Don’t Tread On Me.
2. Ten – Pearl Jam
Eventually outselling its rival entry at the top of this list, Pearl Jam’s amazing debut features 90’s rock staples Alive, Evenflow, Once and Black—and who can forget the haunting imagery of the video and lyrics of their opus, Jeremy. Eddie Vedder and company have produced great records since, but admittedly will never capture the lightning in a bottle they caught with Ten. Notable songs: Jeremy, Black, Alive, Evenflow, Once, Porch, Release.
1. Nevermind – Nirvana
Ironically, Nirvana’s ground-breaking album was not the biggest selling rock album of the decade, and from a critical standpoint, likely not even the best (actually there are at least two better offerings in the Grunge sub-genre alone). What makes Nevermind the best album of the 90’s was the fact that it was the album that changed the entire music landscape. Your Pearl Jams, Soundgardens, Offsprings and Stone Temple Pilots might not have progressed from the garage had those three infamous prelude cords of Smells Like Teen Spirit never crossed radio airwaves. Notable songs: Smells Like Teen Spirit, Come As You Are, Lithium, In Bloom, Breed, Polly.

Other notable 90’s rock albums: Pretty Hate Machine – Nine Inch Nails, Blood Sugar Sex Magic – Red Hot Chili Peppers, Ill Communication – Beastie Boys, Angel Dust – Faith No More, Throwing Copper – Live.

Top Ten Best Smells

Of the five senses the olfactory sense of smell seems to be the most underrated. It doesn’t play nearly as crucial role as sight and hearing, nor is it catered to as often as the senses of taste and touch. Still, without this remarkable sensory gift our lives would be a lot less interesting. It is with this thought in mind that I have compiled the following list of my ten most pleasing scents.

10. Melon Candle
In recent years candles with pleasing aromas have become a staple in our homes and offices. With everything from apple pie to potpourri, there is hardly an imaginable scent that hasn’t been immortalized in wax. By the far the most pleasing to the nose would be the melon-scented variety producing a delightfully strong, but not overwhelmingly sweet smell.
9. Gasoline
Petrol is definitely a love-it-or-hate-it smell. Despite the $3.00 per gallon price tag, for those who love the smell of gasoline fueling a car is the highlight of some days.
8. Peach Body Lotion
Of all the tricks females use to attract male suitors, the body (or smelling) lotion is definitely one of the best offensive moves. Particularly the peach variety, these lotions leave gentlemen with a pleasantly lingering remembrance of the evening.
7. New Car
Part of the excitement of signing that dotted line is the knowing your new car will have that familiar, just purchased smell. Whatever chemical is used to detail vehicles, it has provided millions with an added portion of enjoyment that lasts until the temporary window sticker is removed.
6. Ivory Soap
Of all the great smelling personal cleaning agents, Ivory Soap has the most distinguishable and refreshing odor. Fresh from the shower, this scent is truly the best way to wake your nose for the day.
5. Barbeque
Regardless of whether it’s hot dogs, burgers, steaks, chicken or shrimp on the barbie, if someone is cooking out, it catches your nose. Nothing attracts unwanted house guests like the salivation-inducing waft of a barbeque.
4. Christmas Tree
They say smell is the sense tied most closely to memory. Perhaps that why the scent of a freshly cut Christmas tree rejuvenates the inner-child in legions of adults. The Christmas season is never the same without the soft, but memorable scent of pine filling a home.
3. Coffee
Whether or not you’re a partaker of the world’s most popular breakfast drink, nothing is more arousing to the olfactory sense that a whiff of freshly-brewed 7-11 java or a trip through the coffee isle where fresh ground coffee is sold.
2. New Baby
There is no cleaner or more endearing smell than that of a freshly-bathed, lightly powered infant. Sure this scent is fleeting, but the intermediary moments between happy accidents are truly utopian.
1. Baking Bread
No other smell on the planet can match the pleasure derived from inhaling the scent of baking bread. When the local bakery is in high production it’s difficult not circle the block a few times to bask in the ambiance.

Other nasal-pleasing smells not making the list: Dryer Fresh Clothes with Softener, Lemon Pledge, Fresh Oranges, Nail Polish and Cinnabons.

Top Ten Most Annoying Drivers

Each time we slip behind the wheel we take our lives into our own hands. No matter how stellar our driving skills might be there will always be dimwitted idiots out there to disturb our travel and make the roads dangerous. Here is my list of the ten worst such drivers:

10. The Median-Traveler
Some have dubbed the middle strip the “suicide lane,” and for good reason. Rather than wait an extra second or two to turn or merge, this driver will travel at full speed in the median for hundreds of yards before actually getting in a lane. Sure, this makes it dangerous for you to ever use the median, but for them it’s their own private VIP lane.
9. The Non-Signaler
Assuming you were born with the gift of mind reading he changes lanes, makes quick turns and lines up in the wrong place at stop lights because, after all, you already know he’s going to do these things. It’s uncertain of whether or not his car came equipped with the apparently-optional “signal” feature but regardless he’s going to spare the blinker at all costs.
8. The Makeup-Artist
Her car swerves about the road as if piloted by the town drunk. It’s bad enough that she’s trying steer while eating a muffin, putting on pantyhose and balancing her checkbook. But what truly makes her a hazard is her accomplishing these tasks with her eyes fixated on the rear view mirror whilst applying three coats of mascara.
7. The Slow-Turner
It’s a simple right-hand turn. What is the need to begin braking and signaling 30-seconds in advance?
6. The Break-Checker
No one is in front him, no red lights or stops signs in sight, yet every ten seconds those brake lights come on. After all, you never know when your brakes might suddenly give out, so it’s best to check them at every random opportunity.
5. The Rubber-Necker
“Gee, I wonder why he was pulled over,” or “Look, she has a flat tire.” That’s all it takes to slow freeway traffic for miles. The sad part about this condition is the fact those who suffer from this infirmity don’t realize they have a muscle that connects their right foot to their neck. When the neck is fully manipulated to the left or the right, the foot muscle has no other possible reaction but to move left and press down.
4. The Old-Timer
Can’t merge to save their lives, they live life at 20-mph in the fast lane with the left blinker clicking for miles. They’re not sure what they’re doing, many times they’re not sure they’re in a moving vehicle. It’s the infamous gray-hairs and their everyday rationale of “Who needs a bus when I can still drive myself to the store.”
3. The No-Looker
They’re creeping out into the intersection, but haven’t bothered to glance in your direction once. They make that blind turn assuming you won’t be there. This everyday road-hazard lives (and dies) on the assumption that since you see them, they don’t need to see you.
2. The Crowder
Nothing is more conducive to spewing words beginning in jack– or ending in –hole than the infamous Crowder. There are signs indicating the left lane is ending for miles. But being more important than everyone else trying to reach their destination, he waits for the last second to crowd in or simply drives the shoulder until some weak-minded do-gooder will allow him to jump ahead in line.
1. The Tailgater
We all hate this type: you look in your rear-view mirror to find they’re comfortably traveling a mere three inches from your bumper. You tap your breaks and they only get closer. Congratulations, nothing induces anger and white knuckle stress quicker than your antics, Mr. Tailgater.

Other drivers justifying their own euthanasia: The Frequent-Honker, The Road-Rager, The Cell-Phoner, The Road-Block-Talker, The Slow-Merger.

Top Ten National Fast Food Chains

Admit it or not, we all love fast food. There is no single better aspect to living in the free world than the ability to get a tasty meal for only few bucks—all without taking your car out of “Drive.” So the following is my list of ten best national fast food chains. Please note, the criteria here was to rank companies with universal recognition. Sure some hole-in-the-wall burger joint in any given city may well put this list to shame, but unless I live in your city, I’ve never eaten there and will never know. Also, all sit-down style eateries (e.g. IHOP, Olive Garden, Pizza Hut) did not receive consideration as they do not fit the stereotypical “fast food, drive-up” style format.

10. Jack In The Box
Where else can you buy a delectable egg-roll or a fresh taco to compliment a big juicy burger? Jack’s menu selection and legendary Triple Jack burger make this chain one of the best.
9. McDonalds
Scoff if you will, but there is something to be said for consistency. In countless countries all over the globe a Big Mac is still a Big Mac. Pioneering the dollar menu and world domination are only bi-products of good food with impeccable consistency.
8. Sonic Drive-In
Borrowing from the nostalgic days of the 60's drive-in, Sonic employs their watered-down version of the carhop (some equipped with rollerblades) to deliver a uniquely tasty mix of burgers, Coney dogs and scrumptious breakfast sandwiches. Still, Sonic would have made the list on the strength of its drink selection alone.
7. Sbarro
No better place to buy a great pepperoni slice and a piping hot lasagna square while your car idles. Sbarro may not have the frill, but they’ve done well in the taste department.
6. Baja Fresh
Fresh-mex is all the rage these days, and every last successful bean-and-rice franchise owes it to Baja. They were the first in and the best to do it. They’ve even managed to make fish tacos a palatable experience, which is no less than a modern miracle.
5. Subway
What sets Subway above all the other hoagie-sub-grinder-hero sandwich chains? It’s not Jared and his questionable diet tactics, it’s not even the sheer quantitative dominance in topping selection. It’s the bread. No one else touches it. No matter what Gandolfos, Blimpies or Quiznos manage to put on their offerings, that fresh Subway bread will trump the taste every time.
4. Wendy’s
The fastest food in the world. Not only do you get quality food, with many meal options, you don’t have time to put your wallet away before some sixteen year old is dangling your meal out of the second window. Looks like Dave Thomas got it right.
3. Taco Bell
Forget their annoying talking Chihuahua or lame “Fourth Meal/Think Outside The Bun/Good To Go” ad campaigns, for an inventive and delicious menu Taco Bell can’t be beat.
2. In And Out Burgers
Sure, In And Out locations exist only in California, Las Vegas and parts of Arizona. Still, people will completely change their travel routes to stop at one…and for good reason. The best burger chain in the country.
1. Chick-Fil-A
I’m not sure what they put in that breading, but it is easily as addictive as heroin. If the original Chick-Fil-A sandwich doesn’t render you captive, their chicken salad sandwich and mouth-watering waffle fries will.

Other great fast food chains: Hardees, Checkers, Del Taco, Arby’s, Weinerschitzel.

Top Ten Episodes of The Simpsons

With nearly 400 episodes to its credit, The Simpsons is the longest running sitcom and most prolific animated series ever. Fan or foe, everyone has heard a Simpsons' quote or is familiar with a Simpsons episode. So without further ado, here is my list of the ten best episodes of The Simpsons.

10. Homer The Great (The Stonecutters)
Homer is intrigued with Lenny and Karl’s membership in a Masonic-like organization. Homer joins little knowing he is the “chosen one,” and hilarity ensues.
9. Lisa’s Wedding
The most notable of all episodes placing our favorite family in a future setting, the comical events surrounding Lisa’s future wedding are complimented by a rare sentimental moment between Lisa and Homer that manages to avoid any clichéd TV sappiness. Full House should have taken a page from this episode’s script.
8. Trash Of The Titans
When Homer becomes City Sanitation Chief he fails to live up to his many outlandish promises. The “Garbage Man Can” montage, along with a hilarious U2 sequence make this installment unforgettable.
7. Behind The Laughter
A parody of VH-1’s Behind the Music portrays the “real-life” Simpsons as a family muddled in typical Hollywood tabloid fodder. Truly genius.
6. Homer’s Phobia
When the family is introduced to a gay shop owner, Homer fears Bart may also have such tendencies. “Hot stuff comin’ through.”
5. Flaming Moe’s
Homer invents a new flammable cocktail and Moe steals the recipe, consequently becoming famous. Aerosmith and Johnny Carson share barstools next to Barney in this memorable episode.
4. Treehouse of Horror III
Possibly the best of their annual “Treehouse” installments, this episode is best renowned for its send-up of King Kong wherein Waylon Smithers utters his infamous phrase “I don’t think women and seamen mix, sir.”
3. Cape Feare
The Simpsons enter the witness relocation program when Sideshow Bob attempts to kill Bart. Homer dreams of his new identity as John Elway and Sideshow Bob endures his infamous “rakes” scene.
2. The Springfield Files
Springfield is caught up in a fury when Homer believes he’s seen an alien. Hilarious cameos by The X-Files’ “Moulder” and “Skully” accent a tremendously well written series of sight and dialogue gags.
1. Last Exit to Springfield
Homer becomes a union leader and trades the company’s dental policy for keg of beer. The most jokes packed into any single episode, showcasing the series at its absolute best.

Others notable episodes not making the list: Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment, Lemon Of Troy, Marge vs. the Monorail, Homer Goes to College, Bart vs. Australia.