Wednesday, April 25, 2012


There is a reason that ice cream is portioned out into little cups and cones and why cheesecake is sold by the slice, not the pound. Portion control is necessary, even when it comes to good things. It’s maybe for this reason that the half-hour format has become as seemingly synonymous with television comedy as Fonzie is to cool or Aston Kutcher to mediocrity. Sure, there is nothing like a funny full-length movie and there have been many shows that run an hour that can equally stimulate a funny bone. But when there are only thirty minutes (twenty-two with commercials) to tell a funny story the excess fat must be trimmed from the bone and it’s right down to business – which makes the half-hour format so succinctly great.

So it is with the premise that the half-hour comedy format is celebrated with this list. You’ll note the term “sitcom” has intentionally been avoided, because though nearly tantamount with the half hour format, a good number of the deserving shows ranked here wouldn’t quite fit that description. It’s all about the thirty minutes. So to all you long-format fans of Saturday Night Live, Psych and Hee Haw, you’ll have to wait for another day. Without further ado, here are the twenty-five funniest ways to spend a half hour. 

Top 25 Funniest Half-Hour Comedies

“Comedy’s not a science. Science is not a science.” 
– Conan O’Brien

The criteria in determining such a list is painfully simple yet highly subjective. The shows included have to be programs that make me laugh. The more and better the laughs, the higher a show was ranked. Granted, what is interpreted as hilarious to one person might not conjure so much as a chuckle from another, so it’s difficult if not entirely impossible to consistently find common objective ground with such rankings. After all, King of the Hill ran for thirteen seasons and I can barely name a handful of episodes that kept me from changing the channel within the first few minutes. But someone out there had to love it for it to last that long. In fact, so subjective is television comedy that each of the top five shows ranked in this countdown have all been declared unequivocally the best small-screen comedies ever in lists far more reputable than mine. The bottom line is that these shows are ranked by their ability to invoke that involuntary reaction of laughter – and really, nothing else.

The other consideration is compiling such a list, is consideration itself. What shows can even qualify to make the list? There is a reason this countdown cannot be called the “The Top 25 Shows” because, frankly, for all the time I’ve “invested” watching tens of thousands of hours of television comedies – I haven’t seen them all. Not even close. So the list has to be presented through the scope of what I’ve seen, with the asterisk that these are just my favorites. The Mary Tyler Moore Show and The Dick Van Dyke Show are television comedy immortals. I’d agree, but I’ve seen maybe four or five episodes of both – combined – because I didn’t grow up in the 70s and would have to rely upon hard-to-find reruns or hours of YouTube to catch up. It’s hard to include something you just haven’t seen much of -- for all I know, The Honeymooners would take the top spot if only I’ve seen more than a few minutes of the show while playing Scene-it. At the same time, there were hundreds of shows that were considered – from lesson-teaching 80s fodder, to corny 60s slapstick, to street-wise 70s jive to every show in the late 90s that attempted to duplicate the Seinfeld/Friends blueprint. There are numerous shows that I have seen that during their original runs were substantial hits. The Jefferson’s, Murphy Brown, The Golden Girls and Mad About You were very popular and acclaimed during their respective eras, but none of them make the list. In fact, the top twenty-five has its fair share of shows that were cancelled long before their time because they didn’t pull down adequate ratings numbers. But in the end, popularity and even award-winning critical success don’t always equal “funny.”

The final dimension of the selection process is what types of shows fit. I considered everything from the obvious sitcom and sketch comedy formats, to Good Eats on the Food Channel. (Yes, it’s hilarious for a cooking show, but has a hard time contending with the more traditional scripted comedies.) Still, the requirements for inclusion were that the show be thirty minutes long and funny – well, and again, that I’ve actually seen them. I probably could have just written that last sentence to begin with, but no way am I deleting everything now.

But, before we get started, here are…

Ten Shows That You’d Expect Would 
Make The List, But Don't -- And Why

Ellen
Long before she was a dancing daytime Oprah contemporary, Ellen had a sitcom and Ellen was a pretty darned funny show thanks to the same trademark misdirection and pithy observational humor that made Ellen DeGeneres’ stand-up routines so remarkable. Then in a landmark move, the eponymous character came out during a “very special” episode and the show immediately changed to a heavier social and serious tone. What was once a sitcom worthy of Top 25 comedy consideration soon became merely a weekly reminder of its lead’s sexual preference – and not a subtle one at that. In fact, so overused were the gay themes in the show’s final seasons that even prominent members of the Lesbian community started saying “We get it. You’re gay. Get back to being funny.” Once the show devolved into monotone topicality, ratings dropped and the show was canceled – which naturally meant that after no recognition for years of stellar comedic writing the Emmy nominations started rolling in. Who says a social agenda gets you nowhere in the TV business. Maybe Who’s The Boss should have tried the lesbian angle a long time ago.

Friends
Writing why Friends is excluded from the list is like swearing in front of your mother, once it happens you become a lightning rod for endless flack. Sure Friends was a considerably successful hit show that had a lot of legitimately funny moments, but so often it was just paint-by-numbers, tepid rom-com fodder (romantic-comedy for the layperson) enhanced through its delivery by a trendy and attractive cast of Us Weekly superstars. Swap the pretty Friends gang with the cast from My Name is Earl and you’ll see how less charming and funny “smelly cat” and “how you doin’” really seem. Seriously, close your eyes the next time you come across a Friends rerun and imagine Mike and Molly-types uttering the same lines. That’s why this megahit only gets an honorable mention.

The Daily Show
Call The Daily Show a “comedy” and they’ll smugly remind you that recent polls indicate their program is the primary source of current event data for more males ages 18 to 25 than from any other “news” source. Levy the same criticisms Jon Stewart has against other similar politically-oriented programs (non-neutral reporting, unbalanced guest choices, fact skewing, biased story selection) and they’ll remind you that theirs is merely a silly show that airs on Comedy Central whose one time lead-in was a group of puppets making crank calls. So since The Daily Show can’t decide exactly what it is, it has no place being ranked in a list of great television comedy. Besides, Colbert’s show is more worthy of consideration anyway – at least he took the time to create a charmingly deadpan persona through which to deliver the fake news each night.

M*A*S*H
There is no denying that MASH is one of the most accomplished programs in television history. Its final episode will likely forever stand as the single most watched installment of any show or event in history of television (that’s right, no moon landing, Super Bowl or American Idol final has even come close to touching this record). The reason for MASH’s exclusion from the list is the same transgression that has befallen so many other renowned comedies; it became a drama. After the early years of superb writing focused on wisecracking surgeons whose antics provided a brilliant contrast to the ever-present shroud of war, Alan Alda took over behind the camera and the show diverged onto a preachier, more political and a lot less funny path. Yes, indelible episodes with Hawkeye crying about a chicken and a baby on a bus were poignant masterpieces in their own right – they just weren’t comedy episodes anymore.

Home Improvement
Evidence that overwhelming ratings success and popularity is not necessarily a product of timeless, well-crafted humor, but rather from the general appeal of broad comedy and a high traffic time slot. What started out as a light-hearted, low-brow but lovable family comedy eventually injected the obligatory weighty complexities of family life as cute sitcom kids got older and eventually the show’s quirky impact faded. It’s painful to sit through most re-runs knowing this was the top show on television at one time.

Rosanne
See Home Improvement, substituting “low-brow” for “working class.” A bit sharper written and a lot less silly than Tim Allen’s vehicle, still Rosanne ultimately arrived at the same fate. The final episode reveals that the entire story is simply the semi-fictional writings of the protagonist and that some of the more outlandish story arcs late in the series (the family winning the lottery, Dan Connor’s heart attack and extra-marital affair) never actually occurred – talk about a world class cop out. Rosanne was a ratings giant at its peak – but even at its best it was never a laugh-‘till-you-hurt comedy like its always-obnoxious title sequence would suggest.

I Love Lucy
At one point during The Phone Message episode, Jerry Seinfeld’s character mentions to his girlfriend that he has never seen an entire episode of I Love Lucy. Despite its considerable industry respect and a near-mythical character stature, such a glib summation of I Love Lucy isn’t entirely unthinkable. Not that the show was unwatchable, it’s the very definition of an iconic sitcom, but as comedy on television has continued to evolve the humor portrayed in this timeless classic becomes a lot less timeless. Most everyone over the age of 30 has seen the masterful clips of Lucy stomping grapes or cramming her mouth and shirt full of chocolates from an overflowing conveyor belt, but ultimately the weekly escapades of a loud, overbearing Desi and an exaggeratedly-sobbing Lucy belong more in the annals comedy history than in lists asserting which shows were the funniest.

Entourage
Entourage’s numerous Emmy nominations in “Comedy” categories seem as fitting as the Nobel Peace Prize being awarded to the last living members of Al-Qaida. Like its oft-associated, trendy female counterpart, Sex and the City, Entourage doesn’t have a lofty requirement in the brain-power department to enjoy and dissect the nuances of each boob-filled storyline. It’s pretty boy Adrian Grenier smiling his way through the oh-so-relatable travails of an A-List actor while an elfish Kevin Connolly whines incessantly and Mark Wahlberg drops by occasionally to remind everyone this is really his show. Only the limited on-screen antics of “Johnny Drama” and “Turtle” ever seem to approach homogenous comedy, unless eight seasons of a conniving Jeremy Piven yelling into a phone and weaseling his way out of the boys’ latest uptown problem can still conjure a chuckle. Yes, early performances by Piven (playing agent Ari Gold) and Kevin Dillon (Johnny Drama) were compelling and occasionally humorous – but the show as a whole was never that impressive dramatically – and moreover, really never that funny.

The Big Bang Theory
A smart little show that has slowly gained an impressive following, The Big Bang Theory’s technically sound and gently intellectual writing has served only to enhance a brand of humor that might otherwise scare away viewers who favor more easily digestible comedy. The geek factor is endearing and well executed, however it is the show’s formulaic humor that keeps this brilliant show from making the cut. When after all the scientific jargon is spewed it seems the approaching punchlines are as predictable and textbook as any show being rerun currently on Nick at Night. It’s a strong contender, and is still getting better, but for the moment Big Bang just misses the cut.

The Cosby Show
Norman Lear spent the entire 70s and the early part of the 80s portraying, to varying degrees of success, the urban family (especially black families in America) in the most socially honest and thought-provoking ways he could muster. So it comes with a level of irony that for all of Lear’s so-called “hard-hitting, ground-breaking, perception-altering” attempts at African-American comedies, it was The Cosby Show (debuting in 1984) that provided a glimpse into the antics of the Huxtable clan and accordingly dismantled the preconceived notions of the “black family” with the portrayal of a traditional and affluent household. There were no stories about making the rent or labor unions. The children were taught personal responsibility and manners and not used as wise-beyond-their-years mouth-pieces for politically-oriented pontification. Problems were discussed, not yelled about. Then, on top of these social implications, Cosby is credited as the show that revived the success of the sitcom format standing as the flagship of one the most successful prime-time lineups in television history. So why does a landmark show of such distinction not make the list? Because it’s landmark television – not landmark comedy. It was enjoyable, family-friendly fare reminding us that not every family of color was distraught, angry or had to bellow “honkey” or “dy-no-mite” to be amusing. Besides, Cosby has to be docked a few points for spawning off the repetitively heavy-handed A Different World

Other shows just missing the cut:
Cheers, The Chris Rock Show, It’s Garry Shandling’s Show, Wings, The Andy Griffith Show, Family Ties, Mr. Show, Three’s Company, 3rd Rock From The Sun, Curb Your Enthusiasm

And, now for the list...

25. Night Court
NBC (1984 – 1989)                                                 193 Episodes
What Night Court had that all of the other shows on the inclusion bubble didn’t was a delectable hint of Vaudeville that is practically non-existent in the television landscape of the last 50 years. This goofy bunch of misfits produced many entertaining and laugh-worthy storylines, but it was the endless parade of oddballs and unconventional dregs of society that graced the courtroom week after week that made the show so compelling and unpredictably fun. Throw in the fact that Night Court boasted possibly the best sitcom performer of any era in John Larroquette (as sniveling, sex-driven public defender Dan Fielding) and few corny Harry Anderson magic tricks and you’ve got an uncompromisingly imaginative and downright enjoyable sitcom.

24. Married…with Children
FOX (1987 – 1997)                                                 259 Episodes
Oh sure, pass up all those stellar shows with honorable mentions and arbitrary reasons for exclusion, but include this classless piece of trash. (Okay, fair enough.) But get past the toilet jokes and body fluid humor and what Married…with Children was is a blue-print for the modern family sitcom (including, in some ironic aspects, Modern Family). Married was launched during the infancy of the Fox Network and throughout most of its run was considered appalling, envelope-pushing, provocative television. The children were disrespectful, the husband unmotivated and the mother hardly the nurturing, hugging type. It was a full divergence from what audiences were used to witnessing on all the Cosby, Full House, Growing Pains syrupy-type fare that dominated the late 1980s. Flash forward twenty years, and Married…with Children is far tamer and more innocuous as anything aired during prime time. In fact, many of the so-called family shows that have aired since seem to embrace the bumbling patriarch, smart-alec kids format that Married dared take – though few have been as funny as Al Bundy and company were way back in the pre-Simpsons days. Put all of the visual “trimmings” aside (a.k.a. any scene with a young, uninhibited Christina Applegate) and Married…with Children was a smartly written, well executed, legitimately funny sitcom. So take that, Murphy Brown.

23. Mother and Son
ABC TV (1984 – 1994)                                            42 Episodes
Every “favorites” list has the obligatory obscure foreign entry that no one has ever heard of and the Australian-borne Mother and Son fills this list’s quota. Airing on PBS in the States during the late 80s and early 90s this oddball comedy about an Alzheimer victim and her longsuffering caretaker son might not seem like typical comedy gold, but it turns out senility and family misery, when well-performed and aptly written into a caring storyline can be down-right hilarious. As obscure as it might be, a YouTube search for this show will provide instant enlightenment as to why Mother and Son is considered so hilariously endearing and why it’s a multiple “Logie” Award winner (and yes, Australia even has incredibly goofy sounding names for their TV awards).

22. Mr. Bean
ITV (1990 – 1995)                                                   14 Episodes
When considering the many tried-and-true television comedy devices rarely does “pantomime” make the list. We know audiences crave a little Chris Farley or John Ritter slapstick, but what Rowan Atkinson did as Mr. Bean did wasn’t just physical humor. He told stories and developed a full-on character armed only with subtle expressions, acute reaction and just the right amount of exaggerated movement. To be interesting without words (of which there were very few spoken by even supporting players during the series) is difficult enough – but to be funny enough to draw 18-million viewers during the show’s heyday, Mr. Bean is nothing short of a masterful specimen of flawless acting fundamentals and simple storytelling. Don’t be dissuaded by the less-than-stellar, anything-for-a-buck American movies featuring the Bean character – Mr. Bean the series is nothing short of modern-day classic.

21. Get A Life
FOX (1990 – 1992)                                                  35 Episodes
In its early days the Fox Network took a chance on anything – and that’s no exaggeration. (Just look up Babes or Women in Prison.) Though risky, this haphazard approach would ultimately produce iconic shows like The Simpsons, 21 Jump Street and Beverly Hills: 90210. Yet somewhere between the hit shows and Herman’s Head-type failures was Chris Elliot’s Get a Life. A slow-witted paper boy (of 30) who still lived with his parents and who seemed oblivious the burdens he cast on others, Chris’ character was nothing more than a bearded man-child version of Dennis the Menace. Not everyone got the subtle humor of Get a Life, considering how often immature, unconventional and at times completely bizarre the show could be, but it was awfully funny as well. Probably the first great sitcom in Fox’s history to get the time shuffle, will-they-won’t-they cancel treatment – which has become a network practice observed almost religiously to this day.

20. Futurama
FOX/Comedy Central (2000 – 2003, 2008 – present) 114 Episodes
Speaking of shows victimized by Fox’s time-slot, pre-emption roulette, there is Futurama, the show that actually holds a Guinness Book world record for being the “Current Most Critically Acclaimed Animated Series.” That says a lot seeing that Futurama, basically a side project for Simpsons creator Matt Groening, was given zero promotion and nearly the same budget. Yet, considering the relative success of animated shows like The Simpsons, Family Guy and King of the Hill, pound-for-pound, laugh for laugh, Futurama more than holds it own. Maybe it’s the uneasiness brought on by a gang of self-absorbed humans, temperamental space creatures and a unscrupulous wise-cracking robot that steered this sci-fi comedy into relative obscurity, but as far as a show with guaranteed belly-laughs each time out of the gate, Futurama has always been as sure a bet as the easy girl on prom night.

19. Whose Line Is It Anyway (US)
ABC (1998 – 2007)                                                 220 Episodes
Highly esteemed improvisational companies The Second City and The Groundlings have seemingly served as the “minor leagues” for some of the biggest names who’ve found their way into movie and television comedy. Why these respected outfits aren’t considered the “big time” is simple; because it’s improv. The step in the comedy food chain just above mime and right below terrible sketch comedy. So it served as somewhat of as surprise when ABC chose to revamp the English improvisational show of the same name for their prime-time line up. However instead of stuffy British players mugging for camera time while portraying authors and theater styles, two of the U.K. alum (Ryan Styles and Colin Macharie – both Americans, ironically) would team up with the obscenely gifted Wayne Brady and a revolving guest to engage in a variety of games where spontaneous dialogue and songs were performed under the premise of being entirely created on the spot. Drew Carey’s presence as the jokingly-snarky host gave identity and style to the show – right down to his mocking refusal to keep score like is done on the show’s predecessor.  No, not every segment is a masterpiece, but for spontaneous humor Whose Line is as polished and reliably funny as scripted show on the small screen – “if you know what I mean.”

18. Leave It To Beaver
CBS/ABC (1957 – 1963)                                          235 Episodes
Yes, there are limitless jokes that can be made at the expense of the show’s name and its main character. We’ve all heard the “Gee, Wally” and “giving the business” lines before – and no, that suspiciously sanitized version of America probably never existed anywhere and any point in the past. Still, the inclusion of Leave it to Beaver is based purely upon its skillful familiar humor and timeless concepts. This was a show that saw life and its everyday foibles through the eyes of the children, and because of that rather innovative perspective, the show’s unlikely insightful humor has remained as relevant today as it was back when gas was a dime a gallon and no one snickered when a boy told his parents he’d been playing with “The Beaver.” If anything, it’s worth catching the next TV Land Beaver marathon if only to recoil at the shudder-inducing genius of Eddie Haskell – quite possibly the slimiest conniver to slither across the small screen until J.R. Ewing and Creed Bratton later joined his unholy trinity.

17. 30 Rock
NBC (2006 – present)                                             117 Episodes
The thing about Tiny Fey’s sitcom project is that it is terribly overrated and  at the same time utterly, shamefully underrated. The numerous Emmys the show has won is likely more a testament to its lead actors’ political alignment with those agendas of the Academy, than actually being the best comedy on television from 2007 to 2009 – because it probably wasn’t, and its low ratings should prove that point. By the same token, a show as creative and dynamic as 30 Rock deserves a far larger audience than the meager numbers it garners each week – and its numerous award nominations and critical acclaim should convince potential viewers of this. The bottom line is, Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin are adorable and serviceable in their lead roles and the top notch writing is rapid-fire and intelligent, tempered with the right amount of silly – yet at the end of the day it’s the unrivaled herculean supporting cast that makes every episode addictively re-watchable and can keep the audience in stitches even when the central plotlines become bogged down with yet other tale of Baldwin’s or Fey’s character’s ill-fated romantic pursuits.

16. Fraiser
NBC (1993 – 2004)                                                 264 Episodes
Not exactly the typical recipe for success: Give a spin-off to the most boring, barely likeable character from a blockbuster hit show (Cheers) and then have nerve to load the program with tons of intelligent dialogue while airing opposite of Tim Allen hooting and blowing things up on Home Improvement. So what do you get? Only the most Emmys ever won by a single sitcom and Top 20 ratings through all but the final year of the show’s run. Sure they did it by borrowing the Three’s Company “misunderstanding something someone overheard” formula at least a few times a season and, yes, the show took itself far too seriously in the later years – but it’s hard to knock a cultured comedy that requires its viewers to have an IQ well into the triple-digits and still be as sharply funny as it is smart.

15. Police Squad!
ABC (1982 – 1982)                                                 6 Episodes
Before the Naked Gun movies gave O.J. Simpson a measure of post-football, pre-murder fame, there was Police Squad!. Basically the same people who would later produce the Naked Gun films first created a sitcom with Leslie Neilson as the lead which featured the same general characters and the exact deadpan, word play and non-sequitur humor that would make the Naked Gun franchise so unique and utterly charming. A cornucopia of sight gags and visual unpredictability, this spoof on police dramas is as smart and satirical as any show on television even if they did end up reusing some of the bits in all the movies – which uninformed YouTube sleuths are still “astutely” pointing out to this day.

14. In Living Color
FOX (1990 – 1994)                                                 129 Episodes
Remember when the Wayans Brothers built a boundary-breaking comedy franchise that they didn’t abandon part way through? Of course you do, it was called The Wayans Brothers and the WB cancelled it before having to inevitably tackle the task of re-casting a show with the name “Wayans” in the title. But long before the most famous funny family from Manhattan ducked out on the Scary Movie sequels, there was In Living Color. A hilariously irreverent sketch show that was the first to feature mostly black actors (the only white guy in the original cast being an unknown elastic-faced crack up credited as “James Carey.”) In Living Color was good, very good. Not only did the show create viable reputations for Keenan Ivory and Damon Wayans, but it launched the careers of the aforementioned Ace Ventura, Jamie Foxx, Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, David Alan Greer and Tommy Davidson (if you can call it a career). The show also featured a young, less-buttsome version of Jennifer Lopez as a “Fly Girl” (wasn’t 90s vernacular vaguely charming). But long before any of this star power was realized, In Living Color was stealing advertising-demographic viewers from America’s Funniest Home Videos with its unforgettable characters and well-crafted sketches. Then, with the show at its pinnacle the Wayans brothers (and sisters) began to bolt and In Living Color went on auto-pilot until it was ushered into syndication. News of the show’s revival in mid-2012 has surfaced, and Keenan Ivory Wayans has been confirmed as the producer. It should be interesting see how the next incarnation fares with Keenan Ivory at the helm for maybe half of the second run.

13. Whitest Kids U Know
FUSE/IFC (2007 – 2011)                                          60 Episodes
A college improvisational/sketch comedy troupe that unleashed a fresh, why-didn’t-I-think-of-that brand of comedy when the show originally aired on the Fuse network. Later picked up by the far more permissible IFC, The Whitest Kids may have lost a bit of the sharp-edged writing required for “censored” television, but their innovative and original brand of sketch humor has been a constant throughout this recently wrapped series. One need only Google “The Never Song,” “Leg Pee,” “The Grapist,” or “Dinosaur Rap” to witness the genius Trevor Moore and company has contributed to the current television comedy landscape.

12. The Office (US)
NBC (2005 – present)                                             171 Episodes
Remakes of acclaimed shows rarely live up to the originals, which is the cloud of perception that has been cast upon the U.S. version of The Office from its inception. Yet, to its credit, the show has diverged enough from the original to create a wealth of memorable moments and humorous characters unique to itself, and has in the process become a much bigger ratings hit than its forbearer. Even Michael Scott (Steve Carrell) managed to quickly carve out his own recognizable small screen niche by paying homage to, but not directly imitating his more abrasive David Bren counterpart. Utilizing the same mockumentary formula as the original, the ever-expanding cast of Dunder Mifflin employees has seamlessly incorporated an endless tide of changes within the fictional company as well as with the show’s core players with believable ease. However, where the U.K. version succeeded in its brevity (only 14 total episodes), the U.S. version might well have hung around a bit past its freshness date. But then again, where viewers of the original were only left to speculate upon the ultimate fate of the show’s core romantic arc, the U.S. version has seen Jim and Pam progress through a most memorable wedding episode and even into the thralls of parenthood, which for American audiences, might be preferable to the pedantically unfulfilling “happily ever after” conclusion.

11. All In The Family
CBS (1971 – 1979)                                                  208 Episodes
Okay, so it was supposed to be an allegory for the emerging generational differences America witnessed in the late 60s and early 70s. Of course every word spewed from Archie Bunker’s lips were crafted to deliberately incite outrange and to evoke distain toward his outlandishly conservative and stilted perspectives. Yes, this was supposed to be an urban and edgy example of the newly-emerging nuclear family, ridding CBS of its rural and folksy image. So it only stands to reason that Archie’s utterances became literal mantras of fans everywhere and what was meant to be profound and politically unsettling commentary on family life instead evolved into comfortable and heart-warming piece of Americana. Viewers will simply never see this type of show again – and not only because the colorful racial lexicon so often employed by Archie hasn’t been allowed on network television for years – but a show that seemed to capture the zeitgeist of its existence so seamlessly without impeding the natural chemistry of its cast and its memorable stories. 

10. Family Guy
FOX (1999 – 2002, 2005 – present)                          182 Episodes
For what now seems like a television comedy staple, it’s been a tumultuous ride for Family Guy. Cancelled and brought back without any fanfare after its first season, the show managed only two more seasons before Fox indefinitely axed the show following the obligatory revolving time-slot treatment so many of Fox’s best shows receive. Unthinkably revived by strong DVD sales and massive midnight ratings on the Cartoon Network, Family Guy began its second incarnation and has since become a relative hit for Fox to this day. But after all of this, truthfully the show was really at its best during the third through sixth seasons. Relying on brilliantly satirical cut-away gags and pop culture references to punctuate the show’s brash humor, Family Guy is as much a skeptical social commentary as it is a story about a messed up Rhode Island family with a talking alcoholic dog. The show has faltered some in later years with bits relying more on shock comedy or dramatic content and cramming the political, religious and social leanings of its creator to the forefront of most every storyline, yet Family Guy is still one of the most consistently funny shows on the air today.

9. Malcolm In The Middle
FOX (2000 – 2006)                                                  151 Episodes
Their last name was never confirmed. We’re not even sure where this family lived, but what we are sure of is Malcolm’s somehow functionally dysfunctional family was a true breath of genius. Each family member contributes a piece to a greater diorama of self-serving, but ultimately caring set of individuals who also happened to be very funny. It was really never a show about Malcolm, no matter how central he might be to most plotlines, but really of growing up in a family confined to a tourniquet-tight budget, with siblings clawing to attain their own identity and share of parental approval in their own unique ways. The cast and side-characters are utterly dynamic and superb in every way, most notably the hints of later greatness we’d see from the gifted Brian Cranston – whose many gratuitous nude scenes have induced far more viewer winces than any of the havoc his character has wreaked on Breaking Bad.

8. Extras
HBO (2005 – 2007)                                                 13 Episodes
While Ricky Gervais would so humbly remind the world that his first show, The Office, is the best sitcom of all time in any known universe, it might be a bit bombastic to suggest that his second show, Extras, might even be a bit funnier. Enlisting A-list stars to play cartoonish versions of themselves, and utilizing the strangely hilarious on-screen presence of Ricky’s gangly sidekick Stephen Merchant, Extras is a deftly-honed product dense with humor and layered with industry in-jokes. Memorable bits with the likes of Sir Ian McKellan, Orlando Bloom and even Robert DeNiro make this one of HBO’s best comedy series ever.

7. Flight Of The Conchords
HBO (2007 – 2009)                                                 22 Episodes
While viral videos of their song “Business Time” made this comedy folk rock duo a moderate Internet sensation, it was their little show on HBO that truly showcased their amazing flair for comedy. New Zealanders Jemaine Clement and Bret McClegnie’s adventures as struggling musicians in New York City, complimented by the performances of a remarkable supporting cast and wealth of top flight guest stars is a brilliant mix of straight man comedy and deadpan silliness. Each episode contains at least one original song from the pair, which tunes are as amusing and overflowing with absurdity as the show’s razor-sharp dialogue and characters. Flight only aired for two seasons on HBO, but is still so beloved by the network that episodes continue to air frequently to fill uneven intervals between movies or when a sporting event ends early.

6. It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
FX (2005 – present)                                               84 Episodes
The show that dubs itself “Seinfeld on Crack” – and they aren’t kidding. In fact crack is only one of the many bountiful comedy veins tapped by this versatile cast on a show whose writing is as gritty and flagrant as any other well-respected, boundary breaking comedy – and just like the aforementioned Seinfeld, armed with a healthy dose of character narcissism without all the hugs and heart warming lessons. Sunny has continued to top itself, and despite a widely-regarded weak sixth season, has again emerged as an innovative and down-right memorable sitcom. The show has been renewed through at least a ninth season with FX, leaving fans and shocked onlookers alike wondering where the next two years might take the gang from Paddy’s. Who knows, maybe if we’re lucky we’ll get a few more episodes with crack.

5. The Office (UK)
BBC One/Two (2001 – 2003)                                  14 Episodes
Forget all of the “Dwight is funnier than Gareth” comparisons, the original British incarnation of The Office is just flat out better than its American counterpart. The humor (humour?) is more biting, the characters more organic and mean-spirited and the awkward moments far more anguishing. This simple, yet somehow revolutionary idea of a mock-documentary that follows the minutia and the petty internal politics of the workplace proved curiously intriguing to audiences and made Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant international stars. Yet, at the core of show’s entire appeal is not the antics of a clueless boss, but the subtly budding romance between two employees whose unfulfilled affection culminates in the final moments of the final episode (which scene is worthy of mention among the very best in small-screen history). As good as the US version is, with its over-the-top Dwights, brown-nosing Andys and creepier-than-your-weird-uncle Creeds, it will never quite match the understated genius of the original.

4. Chappelle’s Show
Comedy Central (2003 – 2006)                                33 Episodes
The true epitome of a “water cooler show.” During its initial run, the morning after an episode Chappelle’s Show aired workplaces throughout America would be filled with lively chatter about the latest antics of a motivational crackhead, or the black white supremacist (who also happened to be blind) or even more unlikely, the hilarity of everyday stories about Rick James and Prince. As unconventional and creative as a sketch show could be, Dave Chappelle’s rare combination of imaginative writing and pitch-perfect comedic screen presence made Chappelle’s Show easily one of the most ground-breaking and most quoted shows of all time. Central to much of the humor was race, which was freely exhibited in its unabashed usage of the “n-word,” and which fearless approach would prove to be the true genius and at the same time, the ultimate downfall of the show. The first two seasons set the bar so impossibly high it’s difficult to speculate if the aborted third season and any that would have followed could have done their predecessors justice. Like the strongest flames, Chappelle’s Show burned very bright – and very fast. Sometimes it’s a shame – and sometimes it’s better to have never known what might have been.

3. Arrested Development
FOX (2003 – 2006)                                                 53 Episodes
The show about a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them together, or in the bigger picture, a story about a network that didn’t know how to handle a show loaded with talent, heaped with high critical praise and prestigious industry awards, but that wasn’t an instant ratings giant. So the same Fox Network that was oblivious to the fact that countless nerds watched Firefly and that suburban white kids loved the early episodes of Family Guy, never gave the show a consistent time slot and therefore Arrested Development’s audience could never prove its loyalty. Ultimately viewers were robbed of the impeccably well-written misadventures of the Bluth family, as a young Michael Cera skillfully played a timid and insecure nerd and Will Arnett flawlessly portrayed a scheming egomaniacal jerk. (Sure, those are just about the only characters either actor ever plays, but they both did it on Arrested Development first!) The show’s return has been rumored for years, but if that day never arrives at least we have three seasons that clearly define the word “masterpiece” in the sitcom realm.

2. Seinfeld
NBC (1989 – 1998)                                                 180 Episodes
The self-proclaimed “show about nothing,” that somehow managed to infiltrate nearly everything in popular culture. From its memorable terminology (“shrinkage,” “master of your domain,” “the Manssiere”) and its end supply of quirky nicknames (“Soup Nazi,” “Bubble Boy,” “Man Hands”) to its intricately woven plotlines and instantly recognizable episodes (“The Contest,” “The Puffy Shirt,” “The Chinese Restaurant”), Seinfeld was everything a sitcom hoped to be and more. It became a cultural icon, a Thursday-night juggernaut fueled by its masterful team of out-of-the-box writers and a deftly gifted cast. Adding icing to the cake, Jerry Seinfeld followed his own character’s sage advice on showmanship, and “got out on a high note.” The decision to end show at its absolute pinnacle left audiences longing for more – and left Jerry and Larry David with plenty of time to count their hundreds of millions of syndication dollars. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

1. The Simpsons
FOX (1989 – present)                                              503 Episodes
One of only two prime-time scripted shows to hit the 500 episode mark (the other being Gunsmoke), and in all reality, there are very few episodes beyond the 200th milestone that are even worth a second look. So, throw away the then-ground breaking but now utterly unwatchable first two seasons of The Simpsons and everything from Season 11 on and you have only about eight or nine years of the most consistently funny, most quotable, sharply biting societal humor ever to grace the small screen – and that’s more than enough to justify the top spot on this list. While the show has undeniably weakened considerably over the last decade, consider that Muhammad Ali was beaten five times before quitting and Michael Jordan finished his career tossing up air balls for the Washington Wizards. Judging something or someone based upon its prime is often where we find greatness – and for years The Simpsons at its best hit a weekly stride no other comedy show has matched. They could continue to push out mediocrity until Episode 600 (and they very well might) but it won’t change the impact and distinction the show attained at its peak. No doubt about it, like it or not, our favorite family from Springfield deservedly tops this list.







Monday, August 18, 2008

A Few Things I Hate About Modern Society

We live in a truly remarkable age. With technological advances placing any desired information immediately at our fingertips, we enjoy a world of entertainment, education and convenience scarcely imaginable in decades previous. Still, in our evolved society there are many facets that annoy and confound even the simplest of logic. No, this isn't a Top Ten List, but here in this entry are only a few of these things I hate about our modern society (as guilty as I as I might be of some of these offenses – lol).

Reality TV
The genre’s name is a complete oxymoron if ever there was one. At one time these shows created voyeuristic suspense as audiences naively watched to see if their everyday-heroes could endure a harsh island environment as a team of producers and a camera crew stood nearby, secretly assuring them they’d never face real danger. Today these shows are merely a colorful pallet of cat-fights, meltdowns and tequilla-induced three-ways painted like portraits on the canvases of The Surreal Life, Big Brother and The Bachelor. Cleverly penned dramas and whimsical sitcoms of yesteryear can no longer compete with the “unscripted spontaneity” and “outrageous honesty” of these “average people” just being “themselves.” What message do the millions of viewers who obsessively follow these programs send to the networks? That reality television need not contain reality, or even be loosely believable as long as mamas are dissed, boobs are blurred and occasionally somebody cries. What message do these shows send to the mouth-breathing couch-monkeys who loyally tune in each week? That you no longer need to be talented, articulate, nor posses the correct amount of chromosomes to be a star on television– and, perhaps most importantly, to anyone attempting to compete for the love of Bret Michaels or Flava Flav, it might be a good idea to stop by the clinic for that Hepatitis shot.

Internet Speak
Kids who couldn’t master a second language if Hanna Montana’s life depended upon it have managed not only to create, but perfect, their own variety of text speak. Nerds who mock elitist society take pleasure having their own pointlessly complex method of communicating exclusively with their own community. It’s in our e-mails, it’s in our text messages, websites and instant messages – and it’s high time we learn what a few of these specific language variations reveal about those who use them:

lol, lmao, rotfl – A person who is dying to inform you of the natural body functions they experience while writing to you. It won’t be long until “smbc” (scratching my butt cheeks), “cfl” (checking for lumps) , “pibgc” (pissing in a Big Gulp cup) or “sujap” (shamefully using Jessica Alba photos) become commonplace in written messages in an effort to better illustrate what your chat partner is encountering on their side of the keyboard.
a/s/l (Age/Sex/Location) – Likely a 35 year-old in his parent’s basement attempting to lure unsuspecting 14 year-olds into his web of romance via dial-up AOL chat. It’s probable that most segments of To Catch a Predator evolve from a simple “a/s/l” and typically conclude with a little “a/c/l” (aggressive cellmate love).
vArIeD cApItAlIzAtIoN fOr EfFeCt – While meant to be edgy, this writing style clearly communicates two things about its writer. First: They likely have no gainful employment as they can obviously devote most of their day to the time required to press “Shift” between each character in their lengthy diatribes. Second: The same as the first observation, substituting “gainful employment” with “non-inflatable significant other.”
l337 |-|@x0r §|o33|< (Elite Hacker Speak) – The overly-complicated act of substituting letters, symbols and ASCII characters to spell out words or other “insider” abbreviations shared by elitist code monkeys. What this practice reveals about a demographic is their poor comprehension of irony. If programmers, who spend hours a day passionately writing applications to quicken, simplify and eliminate menial tasks are so keen to express a 5-letter word using 20 barely-readable keystrokes, their grasp of the ironic truly $(_)><!
"owned" (meaning: to dominate another) – Those who simply aren’t content with defeating an on-line opponent, but subjecting them to masochistic-style ridicule. The counterparts of these cyber fetishists utilizing the “pwned” variation of this taunt are simply overweight leather fiends with unusually chunky ring fingers. (Such users routinely require a huskier sizes of handcuff and ball-gag as well.)
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs – A pop phenomenon of which today’s teenagers will later deny fanhood in much the same way their parents disavow knowledge of the Bee Gees.

Obsession with Fame
With every day comes new questions and fears in this life. Unfortunately these questions rarely include concerns about our cholesterol count, school violence or even who the creepy single guy is who coaches our kid’s little league team. "What is really on our minds," one might ask. Who are the dirty dozen who bedded down Paris Hilton this week? What will Brangelina name their newest third-world adoptee? Where did Lindsey Lohan pass out last night? What post-Labor Day fashion faux pas did horse-toothed Julia Roberts commit on the red carpet? This is the information we need most and praise be to the brave warriors at TMZ, The E! Network, People Magazine, et al, who work tirelessly to aid our survival. If a four-month country music marriage is “inexplicably” on the rocks it must mean ours isn’t so bad. If Robert Downey Jr. is out of rehab again, it probably isn’t such a big deal to finish that second bottle of wine. Tom Cruise’s jumping on that couch sure makes those love letters to our hot cousin seem tame, in retrospect. Everything they do, say or think about is published and if it wasn’t for the off-screen life of celebrities, how would we ever feel good about ourselves? Sure we’re a nation hopelessly obsessed with the lives of the rich and famous, but honestly, who would rather learn about hurricanes, war and political upheaval when a Thanksgiving-like bowel movement has occurred in Britney Spears’ trailer and Access Hollywood has the exclusive? The question is practically rhetorical.

Individual Expression
Today nearly everyone capable of chewing with their own teeth has seen or posted on MySpace, Facebook and Youtube. These outlets of expression have literally changed the way we look at ourselves and our world. Millions of people create their own webpage and videos, exhibiting their creative individualism by including songs, movie clips and poems written and performed by other people which, conveniently enough, just happen to best sum up their inner-most feelings. These mediums allow us to show the world who we really are as we post the same sets of pictures, brag about the same hobbies, and copy the same original idea someone posted a year ago – only we’re pretty sure our version is much cooler. We are a society in which individuals crave attention and demand it by being like everyone else. It’s what makes us feel like we belong, it’s what makes us feel like we are normal and it’s what makes us somehow feel like we are better than all the other “losers” identifying with the exact songs and posting those same video clips. It’s not really MySpace, it’s more like SameSpace – and if you’ve seen one of Tom’s friends, you’ve seen ‘em all.

Celebrity Politics
Where would we be without the guiding hands of the well-meaning famous? It’s not enough that we get to watch their shows, pay too much for their paint-by-number movies and find ways to steal their songs on the Internet. But every time we turn around they’re raising their pitch-perfect voices, telling us we need to vote for Obama, turn in our guns or passionately support Hollywood’s latest fashionable-environmental-cause-of-the-week. Why even Bono, the greatest pontificator of them all, is occasionally kind enough to swing by the Vatican to tell the Pope how to do his job. Never mind that these people who cast stones at public servants and the morals our parents taught us have to find campaign time for their causes between heroin relapses, community service and costly divorce court sessions. They are famous! Would you want advice from someone boring or unattractive enough to aptly manage his or her own life? It’s a frightening thought, but sadly some do. Forget that only years ago Jon Stewart was on basic cable berating those he now panders to on extended basic cable, or that the reliable Keith Olbermann was a jock-sniffer convincing us that the WNBA was a juggernaut waiting to emerge. This time around, they know what they are saying – listen to them. If anyone can shed light upon who we should be embarrassed of as a nation, it’s Dixie Chick, Natalie Maines. After all, she wrote Earl Has To Die. She certainly would know. For your own good, listen to these people. George Clooney’s parents were in movies and he is handsome enough to be in a few as well. He even played a doctor on TV. A good doctor! Give him your ears. It’s time we put faith in something our society, and why not those who look good on camera and always know the right thing to say before a commercial? If Tim Robbins is wrong, we don’t need to be right.

Racial Sensitivity
Our parents grew up watching rallies, marches and impassioned speeches. Our grandparents witnessed segregation, riots and Jackie Robinson fear for his life. Today, we have BET, FUBU and a legitimate chance of a black man becoming President of the United States. Needless to say, times have changed for the better, and with it what we will tolerate. However, equality comes with a price, and that price today is free and logical speech. Forget outright bigotry, these days anyone ignorant enough not to attach the suffix “-American” to an ethnic minority group is as prejudiced as a Klansman in February (Black History Month, for those hate mongers who haven’t already jotted it in their Palm Pilots). Anyone intolerant enough to point out that Affirmative Action defeats its own objective of hiring on merit by requiring applicants to declare their race, is as insensitive as a person who’d dare say “Merry Christmas” to a stranger – after all, just because they’re your neighbor, doesn’t mean they wouldn’t rather celebrate Kwanza, Ramadan or Festivus, you Nazi. Oh, and then there’s the “R-word.” (Not be confused with the “N-word” – acceptable if spewed freely by black comedians and rap artists, but grounds for public execution if uttered by a pale-skin other than Eminem.) The R-word (“racist,” not “reparations”) is the greatest buzzword of them all, and is paraded about anytime a non-white pro-athlete is accused of choking his coach in practice, bludgeoning a cop before being tasered or murdering his ex-wife and fiancée before fleeing at 35 m.p.h. to the airport. If you don’t believe those bringing these charges are racist, just ask Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton, whose full-time jobs it is to bestow that label – that is, for everyone with less pigment than Chris Rock or Carlos Menica. Even a honky simply acknowledging another’s differing ethnic background isn’t spared in these enlightened times. Just ask shock-jock Don Imus how free speech seemingly excludes discussing a suspect’s race. It’s more palatable to the masses when he sticks to the Hillary Clinton genital jokes – that’s just plain better for the kids. Ultimately, part of attaining true equality seems to mean developing a thicker skin (no matter the color) and realizing its how a person treats others that reveals true character – and not whether they choose a Klondike Bar over the appallingly derogatory “Eskimo” Pie as a means of eradicating all hatred in the world. (***Warning: The above segment contains elements directly addressing race. It is not recommended for readers without a sense of humor and a deflated definition of comedy nor readers who consider Tyra Banks a formidable voice in today’s civil landscape.***)